The Wisdom of Mr. Spammy

I have a blog.

You already knew that because you’re reading it right now.

(Stating the obvious is something I’m pretty good at.)

I try to write well. I write on this blog as a way to find my voice again. Because in 5th grade I decided I would be a writer. Because I eventually got a journalism degree (back when journalism was something that was mainly done on newsprint). And, because I keep thinking I ought to write more.

It was too lonely to do it alone. So I badgered a lot of you into reading this. (You guys are great!)

In recent weeks though, for no good reason, this blog has picked up bunches of new followers. All sorts of random followers. Many don’t speak English; many deactivate their blog accounts just as soon as they follow. I try not to take any of this personally.

Maybe they really do care about baseball and Yoga. Maybe I can turn them into Orioles fans. (Go O’s!) Maybe my thoughtful posts have warmed their hearts.  Maybe they really ARE reading me. (Are you?? Are you really there???)

I’ve also gotten a good amount of odd comments on my posts recently. All sorts of weird spam that the kindly Word Press Spam Checker grabs and holds for me to go in and tick-tick-tick-tick-tick “delete all.”

For the most part, spammers don’t really try. I’m pretty sure I could be a better spammer than these guys. Their spelling and grammar is atrocious. Many don’t even bother to spoof a comment, they just run their spam URL a couple dozen times. Lazy.

It’s insulting actually. If you want to spam me, at least put some effort into it.

But, then a classic emerges from the spam heap. A brilliant spam that might not be perfect, but comes pretty close.

I showed it to a friend and she said, “Wow, you got a comment from James Joyce!”

And, she is right. And, so I share Mr. Spammy’s comment with you, because he tried. He really did. And, no one’s ever compared ME to James Joyce.

“I often tried this device as soon as we left for your Enhanc. I have been making my foot or so using the drink station of your bar stool I have been sitting on and also had no idea about I have been flexing a number of the sequins, I have been upset on me. If only were being knee levels.”

I’m not quite sure I completely understand, but I’m sure there’s a message here for all of us. Thank you for your wisdom, Mr. Spammy!

6 thoughts on “The Wisdom of Mr. Spammy

  1. Clearly we have entered the kingdom of Spamelot. Now all we need is a Spam/English dictionary. My funny bone thanks you for tickling it.

    • Gloria, Don’t thank me, thank Mr. Spammy. I couldn’t have come up with that bit of “performance art” if I had just strung random words together. It’s almost poetry. Or, maybe it IS poetry. (I hope Mr. Spammy writes me again … maybe he can have his own section on my blog!)

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