Manny Got A Job.

I’m not sure why I care so much about Manny Machado.

Manny Machado, you may have heard, is expected to sign a $300-million, 10-year contract with the San Diego Padres.

(The San Diego Padres – the team you always forget when you’re trying to name all 30.)

Not Manny.

This is the biggest free agent contract in sports history.

Until, I guess, Bryce Harper signs – with, maybe, the Phillies – later this week.

Not Bryce.

(The Philadelphia Phillies – the team with the name that’s not even trying. All teams should do that. The Washington Washies. The New York Yorkies – woof! The San Diego Sandies. The Baltimore Balties. Whatever.)

Having boatloads of quality free agents still unsigned when spring training is well underway is both weird and disconcerting.

Nothing feels right when so many players are just hanging out in their back yards  swinging off a child’s tee ball set. (I’m assuming that’s what they do when they’re not at spring training.)

But, now one of them – Manny Machado – has a job.

Chicago Tribune, 2/19/2019

The Baltimore Sun, 2/19/2019

“The news that Machado had chosen the Pads sent a shock wave through the White Sox front office, since the Sox reportedly offered him an eight-year deal worth a guaranteed $250 million, which would work out to an average salary that was $1.25 million per year higher than the $30 million per year offered by the Padres.” ~ The Baltimore Sun

Should you need a refresher on why Manny Machado, the former Oriole, deserves $300 million …


That, dear friends, is $300 million.

$300 Million.

Or, 46 million burrito bowls from Chipotle …

… with 46 million scoops of guac.

3 million years of Amazon Prime.

23 million calculators that can display $300,000,000.

But, not mine …


But, here we are a week into spring training and we still have a clogged drain of teamless ballplayers. So, maybe, just maybe, signing Manny Machado to $300 million is just the drain snake that we need to unclog and get these players jobs.

$300 Million. Or, 54 million FlexiSnake Drain Weasels. (I’m assuming there’s free shipping with that.)

I hate the business’y, jobby part of baseball. I hate the dickering over millions of dollars. I hate that team owners will raise the price of tickets and blame it on fans … “Well, you wanted to win, so we went out and got you a pitcher with a 3.45 ERA and those don’t come cheap.”  It’s always our fault somehow.

I hate that beloved Orioles outfielder Adam Jones is still unsigned because, I’m guessing, he’s 33 and at 33 he’s not as nimble as he was at, say, 28 … or 29 … or 30.

© The Baseball Bloggess

I hate that 33 is old.

Photo by Magda Ehlers on

If that’s the case, I must be a tortoise.

I hate that the Orioles are in a rebuild which will probably mean the O’s will lose 100 games this season. And, next season.  And, the season after that. And, come on! Even tortoises can’t wait forever.

When you are as old as an old tortoise, a four-season wait to become a contender is a bit iff’y. I’m at the point now where, when the roofers come over and give their estimate to repaint the tin roof that includes a 30-year guarantee, I say, “What about 10 years? Is it cheaper with just a 10-year guarantee? Because that’s really all I want to commit to.”

The San Diego Padres turn 50 this season. Manny turns 27.

Manny Machado has a job.

And, I got to write “drain weasel” in a post which is something I never expected to do.

And, it’s snowing right now as I write this.  But, it will be sleeting later.  And, then it will rain. And, then the sun will come out.

And, then it will be baseball.


26 thoughts on “Manny Got A Job.

  1. Reblogged this on Plausibly Live and commented:
    I love San Diego. If I could retire to anywhere with no other considerations, San Diego would be my home. The Padres are my “comfort team.” I don’t love them, I don’t hate them. I just enjoy the game and the weather and the easy walk back to the condo. Never get really excited, never get really crushed.

    It’s San Diego.

    I can’t imagine a better place for Manny’s laissez-faire approach to the game to fit in.

    And maybe make me care about it…

    • I kinda feel bad that Manny got nailed for that “I’m not Johnny Hustle” comment last season. I don’t think he’s laissez-faire … he always played hard as an Oriole, with the occasional failures to run out ground balls, but that wasn’t often. Even in the stinkiest of seasons, Manny played hard. I think though with players like Manny and Mike Trout, the pureness of their talent makes it seem a bit easy for them. The one place that Manny has yet to grow is into a leadership role. With his new $$ and the weight of expectations on him in San Diego, he’ll need to mature into that next phase of his career. I’ll sure miss him and Jonathan Schoop in Baltimore, that’s for sure.

      • I hope that you’re correct. Like I said, I love San Diego, but the Padres themselves have rarely given anybody a reason to get excited.
        I am not convinced that his does anything to help that. If anything, what he proved last season is that one man does not a Championship win.

  2. How you finagled that drain thing was a twist!! Thank you for that, I think!
    And the snowing, let’s play ball, is more appropriate for the Rockies at home! Skip the sleet, rarely happens!

    • As I wrote that post this morning it was snowing … when I finally posted it, it was snowing/sleeting. Now, it’s just sleeting. It’s expected to turn into just rain overnight and be sunny and 50 tomorrow. Virginia baseball at home this weekend … I’ll dress warm, but I can’t wait! :)

  3. San Diego is a pitcher’s park. Will be interesting to see how much of the cash he earns. Watch for the power numbers to fall a bit.
    I have to admit to never having worked a drain snake into my blog. I bow to the Goddess (Bloggess?)

  4. Well, I won’t be sending him a congratulatory bouquet. That guacamole from Chipotle looks irresistible though, so thank you for the imagery! Like you, I dislike the business side of pro sports. I long for the halcyon Sandlot days, where ball was played for the love of the game, and free agency was not a thing. I know that makes me sound naïve and idealistic, and I’m OK with that. You’re crushing it with “The name that’s not even trying.” I LOLed reading it.

    • When I read baseball news in old papers from the 19th century and early 20th century, I always stumble a bit when I see the stories about players squabbling with team owners over salaries. It was just that they were squabbling over tens of dollars, rather than tens of millions of dollars. But, it was a business then, just like now. So, yup, a toast to the sandlots … and kids playing kid’s games with only the promise of an after-game pizza … win or lose!

  5. STILL missing Manny….

    Love to you both,


    “Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed.” William Faulkner (1897-1962)


  6. From the land of D3 schools who don’t try with names: St. Thomas Tommies, Augsburg Augies, St. John’s Johnnies, St. Olaf Oles, St. Catherine Katies, Hamline Hamsters (just kidding, Pipers), etc., I loved the reference to the Brotherly Loving Phills (I seem to recall even a cigar brand with the same name). I am also So relieved that Manny has a measure of security in this uncertain world. Now I can go back to reveling in the local notoriety of finally surpassing the snow total record for February (with a week still to go!). Yay us! Spring Training for us begins on TV (I hope) in another week. Another entertaining post!

  7. As with almost all contracts of that length the team ends up regretting it. Doubt that this will be an exception. Just a question of whether it takes two years or five before they start looking for a place to dump part of that salary, eg Robinson Cano.

  8. I hate Manny Machado because he always absolutely demolishes my Tigers. So did Schoop. (sp?) I am glad Manny has gone far away to the National League. Perhaps he can enjoy the beach after getting a face tattoo, cos there’s no other place left for him to get one. I will now turn off the spigot o’ hate. However, I must name some names….Justin Upton….Eric Hosmer….Gene Tenace….Rollie Fingers…..and a factoid–the San Diego Padres missed the World Series in their inaugural season of 1969, posting a miserable 52-110 record, and have never won a World Series since, either. (Though they were fodder for my Tigers they last time THEY won the Series.)
    Fearless prediction: they will not win now, either. Also, they are the only team I know of whose All-Star representative, while playing at home in San Diego, wore a road uniform and played for the visiting (?) NL squad. That’s just wrong.

    Your musings on what can be bought with 300 million cracked me up.

    In ten years, Manny will be blind in one eye, platooning at DH/1B with a call-up from Slagheap City in the Industrial Waste League, hitting .228 with 9 homers and 27 rbi and leading MLB in errors and Icy-Hot wraps used, and being haunted nightly by the ghosts of Rick DiPietro past, present and future. You heard it here first.

    • Since we seem to all agree that long-term deals are always bad, the question now is … who will be bad and who will be baddest … Manny or Bryce? I did see that the Orioles Chris Davis — certainly in the running for all-time baddest long-term deal — will still be getting paid annually after Harper’s contract expires.

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