cats and dogs | The Baseball Bloggess

Come September, you start to see a lot of “baseball is better than football” essays. Baseball fans have been compiling these lists for years.

None, of course, is better than George Carlin’s “baseball vs. football”.

And, so I share it with you here.

Sadly, in a moment of weakness, I started to compile my own list.

It was stupid. And, so I stopped.

If you love baseball, then you already know why it will always be far superior to football.

In the same way that cats and dogs are far superior to Sea Monkeys. Which is to say VERY, VERY Super Superior.

Stevie: Purrfect

Sea Monkeys: Bitter Disappointment

If you’re still wavering, I don’t know what I can say to convince you. Maybe you watch football the same way many NASCAR fans watch auto racing — just waiting to see someone get smooshed, flattened, tackled, or sacked.

Baseball avoids carnage and bloodshed whenever possible. When it does happen, no one cheers. This, bottom line, is why it will always be superior to football in my book.

Hey, I know football. I was a San Francisco 49ers fan for many, many years. But, I boycott it now, because it is increasingly grisly, unnecessarily violent, and has destroyed the quality of life for many former athletes (from NFL-level players to the unfortunate high school and college players who are reminded about rough hits when the arthritis starts to set in around age 30). I yammered on about my boycott last season here.

Oh, sure you can Google “football is better than baseball” and some links will come up.

I found a list of 25 reasons – shared by CBS Sports. Why is football better than baseball? I kid you not, this was reason three.

#3. Football statistics are simple and involve little mathematics to compute.

If the lack of math is really the thing that makes football superior, I’m still marveling that this guy was able to coherently count to 25 for his list.

OK, let’s try a little football math:

2 Touchdowns + 1 Touchdown – 1 Missed Point After + 2 Field Goals + 1 Safety = How Many Points? *

OK, how about this:

1 3-Run Homer = How Many Runs? **

Oh, goodie, there’s more.

#17. Coaches spend more time coaching in football. Baseball managers only manage.

This doesn’t even make sense. It’s gibberish.

#23. Football rivalries are bitter and plentiful.

You’re joking, right?

Dodgers vs. Giants? Yankees vs. Red Sox?

Yankees vs. everyone else?

Baseball teams play 162 games a season – even more if you make it to the playoffs and World Series. 162 games is a lot of games and a lot of time to brew some historic rivalries.

Heck, baseball rivalries are so hot, even the managers get in fights – as the Orioles’ Buck Showalter and Yankees’ Joe Girardi proved just a few nights ago. Click here. (Go Buck!)

If you’re a football team and you’re playing another team just once a season, if that, I’m not sure how a lasting rivalry can even start. “Hi, you must be the Jacksonville Jaguars. I guess we’re playing you today. Gosh, I didn’t even know there was a team here. What state is this?”

His number one reason why football is better?

#1. Football is the ultimate team sport. All 11 players are involved on every play.

Does he even realize that an entirely DIFFERENT football team plays offense than the one that plays defense? Add in special teams – and it’s a THREE-TEAM “team sport”. As I’m sure you know, a baseball player is expected to play both offense and defense (except for those pitcher/DH guys in the American League.)

What to take away from this thoughtful list?

When dining out with football fans, be a pal and offer to calculate the tip for them. It will save them from math-phobic paralysis.

Now, back to baseball.

Here’s one George Carlin missed.

Baseball is better than football, because in baseball you, the fan, can catch a ball. If you catch it, you get to keep it.

You can even bring your glove to help you out.

If you make a clean catch, the fans around you will cheer.

It happens at every game in every ballpark every night.

And, on Tuesday night, a grandmother celebrated her birthday at the Giants’ game. Took her glove. And, snagged a souvenir.

And, then she danced.

Watch it, here.

And that is why baseball will always be better than football.

Oh, and this. (Hi, Manny!)

* 28

** 3

Free Baseball – the extra innings that come when a game is tied after nine. Today, three extra innings. A beautiful deke from a high school pitcher, the furriest bat boy in baseball, and the simplicity of baseball among the Amish.

10th Inning ~ Deke Out!

I love a good deke. That’s when a player fakes out a base runner by pretending to have – or not have – the baseball. When an entire team is in on the ruse … even better!

With the game tied in the 7th, Pitcher Wyatt Short of Southaven High in Mississippi turns to pick off the runner on second. His throw sails into the outfield. Or does it?

Click here to watch.

11th Inning ~ Dog Days

Some historians say that baseball descended from the ancient games “One Old Cat” and “Two Old Cat.” The Cat games used pitchers and batters just like baseball, so maybe?

It seems odd, though, that a game that may have evolved from a game of Cat could be so dog crazy.

Teams invite dogs to join their people at “Bark in the Park” games, offered by more than a dozen major league teams, as well as tons of minor league teams, every season. (Here’s the 2013 list.)

(Sadly for Stevie, baseball has no “Purrs In The Park” days.)

Being a fan is easy for a dog. Growl at the umpires, bark at every base runner, and sniff around under the seats for hotdog scraps. Really, how hard can it be?

But, put a dog to work at a game – now that’s something!

Chase the Golden Retriever has been the official “Bat Boy” of the Trenton Thunder (a Yankees’ Double A team) since 2002. Now 13, Chase is retiring and will fetch his final Thunder bat on July 5.

Click here for Chase’s story.

And, click here to watch him do his bat boy thing!

12th Inning ~ Baseball With The Amish

For baptized Amish adults, baseball is forbidden – sinful and unnecessary, like iPads, zippers, and central air.

But, for the young Amish, who have yet to be baptized and renounce their sinful ways, baseball is alive and well.

The Amish kids don’t know much about performance enhancing drugs, or All Star scandals, or million-dollar salaries. Their game is free of all that baggage. Just throw the ball, hit the ball, and find a way to get home.

Kent Russell wrote an interesting piece on baseball in Amish country for the The New Republic in March. Click here.