Come September, you start to see a lot of “baseball is better than football” essays. Baseball fans have been compiling these lists for years.
None, of course, is better than George Carlin’s “baseball vs. football”.
And, so I share it with you here.
Sadly, in a moment of weakness, I started to compile my own list.
It was stupid. And, so I stopped.
If you love baseball, then you already know why it will always be far superior to football.
In the same way that cats and dogs are far superior to Sea Monkeys. Which is to say VERY, VERY Super Superior.
Sea Monkeys: Bitter Disappointment
If you’re still wavering, I don’t know what I can say to convince you. Maybe you watch football the same way many NASCAR fans watch auto racing — just waiting to see someone get smooshed, flattened, tackled, or sacked.
Baseball avoids carnage and bloodshed whenever possible. When it does happen, no one cheers. This, bottom line, is why it will always be superior to football in my book.
Hey, I know football. I was a San Francisco 49ers fan for many, many years. But, I boycott it now, because it is increasingly grisly, unnecessarily violent, and has destroyed the quality of life for many former athletes (from NFL-level players to the unfortunate high school and college players who are reminded about rough hits when the arthritis starts to set in around age 30). I yammered on about my boycott last season here.
Oh, sure you can Google “football is better than baseball” and some links will come up.
I found a list of 25 reasons – shared by CBS Sports. Why is football better than baseball? I kid you not, this was reason three.
#3. Football statistics are simple and involve little mathematics to compute.
If the lack of math is really the thing that makes football superior, I’m still marveling that this guy was able to coherently count to 25 for his list.
OK, let’s try a little football math:
2 Touchdowns + 1 Touchdown – 1 Missed Point After + 2 Field Goals + 1 Safety = How Many Points? *
OK, how about this:
1 3-Run Homer = How Many Runs? **
Oh, goodie, there’s more.
#17. Coaches spend more time coaching in football. Baseball managers only manage.
This doesn’t even make sense. It’s gibberish.
#23. Football rivalries are bitter and plentiful.
You’re joking, right?
Dodgers vs. Giants? Yankees vs. Red Sox?
Yankees vs. everyone else?
Baseball teams play 162 games a season – even more if you make it to the playoffs and World Series. 162 games is a lot of games and a lot of time to brew some historic rivalries.
Heck, baseball rivalries are so hot, even the managers get in fights – as the Orioles’ Buck Showalter and Yankees’ Joe Girardi proved just a few nights ago. Click here. (Go Buck!)
If you’re a football team and you’re playing another team just once a season, if that, I’m not sure how a lasting rivalry can even start. “Hi, you must be the Jacksonville Jaguars. I guess we’re playing you today. Gosh, I didn’t even know there was a team here. What state is this?”
His number one reason why football is better?
#1. Football is the ultimate team sport. All 11 players are involved on every play.
Does he even realize that an entirely DIFFERENT football team plays offense than the one that plays defense? Add in special teams – and it’s a THREE-TEAM “team sport”. As I’m sure you know, a baseball player is expected to play both offense and defense (except for those pitcher/DH guys in the American League.)
What to take away from this thoughtful list?
When dining out with football fans, be a pal and offer to calculate the tip for them. It will save them from math-phobic paralysis.
Now, back to baseball.
Here’s one George Carlin missed.
Baseball is better than football, because in baseball you, the fan, can catch a ball. If you catch it, you get to keep it.
You can even bring your glove to help you out.
If you make a clean catch, the fans around you will cheer.
It happens at every game in every ballpark every night.
And, on Tuesday night, a grandmother celebrated her birthday at the Giants’ game. Took her glove. And, snagged a souvenir.
And, then she danced.
Watch it, here.
And that is why baseball will always be better than football.
Oh, and this. (Hi, Manny!)