The Baltimore Orioles have used the same insipid tagline on their television commercials for years now. (I want to say 60 years, but, well, at least the last couple seasons.)
“Ain’t Baseball Great?”
Today, with the Orioles five games under .500 and in last place in the AL East, every time that stupid, tired, old commercial, with its obnoxiously cheery, “Ain’t Baseball Great?” comes on … even if I’m not paying attention, even if I’m in the other room, even if I’m half asleep, I answer. Because only a shmoo doesn’t answer when someone asks them a question.
“Ain’t Baseball Great?”
For God’s sake, stop torturing me.
Not only is this tagline stupid, it doesn’t even belong to the Orioles. The Washington Nationals, who share their broadcasts on MASN, use it, too. So, the Orioles stupid, uninspired, boring tagline isn’t even their tagline.
So, as we slog into the All-Star Break, here’s a gift. Here are three former Orioles showing maximum awesome with their screen time.
These are “must watch” clips, non-O’s fans. I’m not kidding.
Ain’t Baseball Video Great? Sometimes it is.
Jake Arrieta, starting pitcher for the Chicago Cubs, has done all right since leaving Baltimore. All right meaning, being named 2015 Cy Young and, oh, that World Series thing. This season’s been a little rough for him, but last summer Jake posed naked for the cover of ESPN Magazine’s “Body Issue.” Here’s a short video that accompanied the magazine.
Home Run Trotting Nelly
Boy, do I miss Nelson Cruz. He spent just one season with the Orioles, but 2014 sure was a good one – he led the league in homers and helped lead the O’s to the post-season. Today, he’s a Seattle Mariner. Unlike the O’s, the M’s know how to make a good commercial. Here’s one starring Cruz from this spring.
Mark With A K
Mark Reynolds, of the Colorado Rockies, is a two-fer in my book. Former University of Virginia. Former Oriole. Last week, Reynolds was named one of the “Final Vote” All-Star Game players – those are the ones that just missed the All-Star roster cut. So, there was one final week of fan voting to determine which additional AL and NL player would go to the All-Star Game.
#BeLikeMark was Reynolds’ hashtag and I hashtagged the hell out of it. Despite my tireless voting, it was pretty clear he had no shot. (Congratulations, other guy who won.)
So, here’s Mark. He may not be going to the All-Star game, but he’s funnier than the guys who are.
(To be honest, sharing this video was the only point of this post.)
“Ain’t Mark Reynolds Great?”
“Yes, Yes. A Million Times, Yes.”
(Sunday 5:23 p.m. Update: The Orioles defeated the Twins, 11-5, this afternoon. Baseball may be great after all.)