“Ain’t Baseball Great?”

The Baltimore Orioles have used the same insipid tagline on their television commercials for years now. (I want to say 60 years, but, well, at least the last couple seasons.)

“Ain’t Baseball Great?”

Today, with the Orioles five games under .500 and in last place in the AL East, every time that stupid, tired, old commercial, with its obnoxiously cheery, “Ain’t Baseball Great?” comes on … even if I’m not paying attention, even if I’m in the other room, even if I’m half asleep, I answer. Because only a shmoo doesn’t answer when someone asks them a question.

“Ain’t Baseball Great?”

“Ain’t it?”

For God’s sake, stop torturing me.

Not only is this tagline stupid, it doesn’t even belong to the Orioles. The Washington Nationals, who share their broadcasts on MASN, use it, too. So, the Orioles stupid, uninspired, boring tagline isn’t even their tagline.

So, as we slog into the All-Star Break, here’s a gift. Here are three former Orioles showing maximum awesome with their screen time.

These are “must watch” clips, non-O’s fans. I’m not kidding.

Ain’t Baseball Video Great? Sometimes it is.

Naked Jake 

Jake Arrieta, starting pitcher for the Chicago Cubs, has done all right since leaving Baltimore. All right meaning, being named 2015 Cy Young and, oh, that World Series thing. This season’s been a little rough for him, but last summer Jake posed naked for the cover of ESPN Magazine’s “Body Issue.” Here’s a short video that accompanied the magazine.

Home Run Trotting Nelly

Boy, do I miss Nelson Cruz. He spent just one season with the Orioles, but 2014 sure was a good one – he led the league in homers and helped lead the O’s to the post-season. Today, he’s a Seattle Mariner. Unlike the O’s, the M’s know how to make a good commercial. Here’s one starring Cruz from this spring.

 

Mark With A K

Mark Reynolds, of the Colorado Rockies, is a two-fer in my book. Former University of Virginia. Former Oriole. Last week, Reynolds was named one of the “Final Vote” All-Star Game players – those are the ones that just missed the All-Star roster cut. So, there was one final week of fan voting to determine which additional AL and NL player would go to the All-Star Game.

#BeLikeMark was Reynolds’ hashtag and I hashtagged the hell out of it. Despite my tireless voting, it was pretty clear he had no shot. (Congratulations, other guy who won.)

So, here’s Mark. He may not be going to the All-Star game, but he’s funnier than the guys who are.

(To be honest, sharing this video was the only point of this post.)

 

“Ain’t Mark Reynolds Great?”

“Yes, Yes. A Million Times, Yes.”

(Sunday 5:23 p.m. Update: The Orioles defeated the Twins, 11-5, this afternoon. Baseball may be great after all.)

17 thoughts on ““Ain’t Baseball Great?”

  1. I have to tell you…I had not seen this and Mark has quickly become a fan favorite here in Denver, and the Rocky mtn west. Spilly is an ex Rocky and current tv commentator. This show cases both of their humor. Be like mark was an internal slogan amongst the players first as he is a great hitter, and plain great person. Players strived to emulate his hitting and personality…a great teacher of the game to the up and coming. It then morphed into the slogan that we used for writing him in for 1st base for the all star game. And now you know the rest of the story. On behalf of Rocky fans I thank the Orioles for sharing him! We love him, appreciate him and promise to continue the #Belikemark love!❤ Guess I need to go back and read the rest of the blog now! Thanks Jackie!

    • You know, you’re probably right. (I’m part of the generation who remembers Chuck Thompson and when I read your comment, I heard his voice in my head.)

      And, if that’s the case, then Nats fans should be especially annoyed to be stuck with a tagline that came from the Orioles. Sticking it to the Nats with Orioles slang? I’m smiling very quietly on the inside now.

      (Thank you for stopping by and for the kind words.)

      • The commercial showed a handful of kids jumping off a tree one by one and swinging by a rope into a barn door…ouch! Then finally one of them asks, “is that what Brady sounds like?” Then they flash to an O’s game highlight and Brady goes up over the fence to pull back a HR ball. It was a cute commercial.

  2. I’m still smiling at this blog. Only you could lead off a tale with Miss Piggy and a naked man and make it all about baseball.

    • I’ve been trying for a year to figure out how to put that Jake Arietta naked piece on my website without it looking gratuitous. It still looks gratuitous … but … well, there you go! And, I’ll always make room on here for Miss Piggy! :)

  3. My god, you sure do know how to cheer a gal up.
    I’ve been calling Arrieta “the magnificent robot” these last few years – and that was BEFORE I was aware of his thigh (sorry, sorry – bit base there.) Anyhow, don’t think I’ll ever think him robotic now. For that alone, I thank you.
    That IS a great Mariners commercial. Reminded me of one they made ages ago with Ichiro selling “the batter’s box” on the home shopping channel. Brilliant. They’ve never been my team, but I do enjoy their humour.
    And an extra thank you for this Mark Reynolds’ video. I’m afraid I don’t know him that well – but from what I’ve seen of him here, he should’ve been a shoo-in on entertainment value alone :)

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