They say that people get crankier as they get older.
Surely, they don’t mean me.
To be cranky is to be ill-tempered about everything. I’m not ill-tempered about everything.
I mean, look ….
Sure, the Baltimore Orioles are in last place in the AL East. But, it’s not like they’re 0-and-26. (Hi World Champion Boston Red Sox, I see you’ve won 10 games, too. Good for you!)
Last season, it took the O’s until May 10 to get to 10 wins. This is progress, people.
I love the rebuilding Orioles. I really do. Sure, I still don’t know all their names, but I love each and every one of them. Except for one. I don’t know his name but, yeh, I don’t love him.
So, I’m not cranky. Not me. But, I do need to talk to someone about a couple situations regarding baseball jerseys. You seem nice. I’m sure you’ll see my side of things.
I appreciate that baseball jerseys have numbers on them. It wasn’t until 1937 that all the major league teams adopted numbers. Before that, I bet teams would just swap players in and out indiscriminately. Who would know? They were all men, they were all the same color, they all wore caps.
Like these 1903 NY Highlanders. Don’t they all look alike to you?
Some people seemed annoyed when Washington Nationals pitcher Sean Doolittle changed his number from 62 to 63 this season. He even tweeted a preemptive apology, promising to make it up to fans who spent money on jerseys with his old number.
The gesture was nice – and Doolittle, a Virginia baseball alum, is exceedingly polite – but unnecessary.
Just look at other Nats fans who altered their no-longer-a-Nat-now-he’s-a-Phillie Bryce Harper jerseys.
Duct tape and spray paint. That’s all you really need to fix up most anything.
P.S. Dear Washington Nationals, Congratulations on your 11 wins this season, so far. That’s more than 10.
“A league may provide that the uniforms of its member teams include the names of its players on their backs. Any name other than the last name of the player must be approved by the League President. If adopted, all uniforms for a team must have the names of its players.” The Official Rules of Baseball, Rule 3.03 (k)
Baseball loves its rules – there’s nearly 200 pages of them.
And, MLB has a lot to say about uniforms … beyond that uniforms need to be, well, uniform. No numbers smaller than six inches. No glass buttons. No shiny buttons. No images of baseballs or patterns that might suggest a baseball (lest players be confused). No frayed sleeves. No ragged sleeves. No slit sleeves. (Just don’t mess with the sleeves, all right?)
But, names on the back? You may. Or, may not. Yeh, whatever.
Which brings me to the Chicago White Sox.
Because, The Baseball Bloggess is a little fussier about whether names should be on the backs of jerseys (yes, always) and how they should be presented (neatly, people).
Can you see it?
Can you see what the White Sox do?
This abomination of a jersey with the letters just slapped on without neatly cutting out the insides of letters … like A’s and B’s and O’s and, you can see it, too, can’t you?
It makes me nuts.
Are they just cheap? Do you have to hire someone to snip out that piece of fabric inside the letter “O”? What would that take? An hour and a couple X-acto knives?
Plus … check out that “O” again … doesn’t it kind of look like a baseball to you?
“No part of the uniform shall include a pattern that imitates or suggests the shape of a baseball.” Rule 3.03 (g)
So, both tacky and rule breaking.
Apparently, the White Sox do occasionally clip out the insides of their lettering. Occasionally is good enough? Occasionally, Alex Rodriguez did not take steroids. Occasionally, the Orioles win a game. See? I don’t think occasionally is good enough.
Well, thank God, he never played for the White Sox.
Anyway, the Orioles have won their last two games. And, I’m not cranky.