Fan-Tastic, Part 3

Posted on August 16, 2014 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

Joe Nathan, the Detroit Tigers closer, got a little frustrated during Wednesday’s game versus the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Tigers won and all, but Nathan was a little shaky in the ninth, walking the first two batters and making things interesting. (He’s been “a little shaky” a lot this season.)

This led to some booing from equally frustrated Tiger fans.

So, Nathan did this.

Let me say this about that.

Joe Nathan, I don’t care if they booed you. No need to be a dolt.

And, fans, don’t boo your players.

Even when they frustrate you and annoy you and make you want to slam your head into the wall. Even when they blow the save or give up a walk-off homer and lose the game. (Brian Matusz, you sure do work my nerves some days.)

They’re doing their best.

Okay, there are a few times when you are allowed to – even encouraged to – boo your team.

Not running out ground balls to first.
Lack of hustle.
Not hustling.
Lazy hustling.
Hustle atrophy.
Hustlessness.
When cheering for your favorite player sounds a lot like booing … Nelson Cruuuuuuuzzzzzz … Louuuuuuuu Pinella.
And, of course, when your closer does this to you …

But, booing, generally speaking, doesn’t help. (Oakland fans, are you listening?)

It won’t make the blown save disappear or turn a bottom-of-the-ninth two-out strike out into a walk-off win. It won’t make anyone play harder. It won’t make anything better. And, it could make things abundantly worse. (Oakland, I’m not kidding here.)

The only time booing really made a difference was in ancient Rome when the cries of displeased fans would occasionally determine which gladiators lived and which, uh, umm, didn’t. Joe Nathan would have been a short-lived gladiator.

But some of us must boo, mustn’t we? Like the dinner party guest who must poo-poo every story you tell … one-up your vacation … your job … your kids.

(Oh my, your precious daughter won a Scrabble tournament with the word ‘jonquil’? I see why you’re so proud. My cat beheaded a mouse on my Yoga mat, dissected its intestines and set them aside, and then barfed the rest of it up into two separate piles. Can your daughter do that?*)

* True story: My cat Polly barfed as I was writing about cats barfing. How cool is that!

Polly. Not sorry.

Nathan apologized for his obnoxious behavior the next day.

And, he should, because, despite sometimes booing, baseball fans are the most wonderful hodge-podge of people around.

Like Tim Pinkard who attended his first Houston Astros game on Tuesday and caught Chris Carter’s home run ball. And, then caught another Chris Carter home run ball. Watch it here.

Here’s to the fans. The managers may be the brains. The players may be the brawn. But, fans are the heart … and without them … well, there’s no $9 million payday for Joe Nathan is there, Joe?

“I do love … the baseball that is in the heads of baseball fans. I love the dreams of glory of 10-year-olds, the reminiscences of 70-year-olds. The greatest baseball arena is in our heads, what we bring to the games, to the telecasts, to reading newspaper reports.” ~ Stan Isaacs, Newsday sports columnist (1929-2013).

Fans on the hill. Davenport Field, University of Virginia

Richmond Flying Squirrels, The Diamond, Richmond, Virginia

7th Inning Stretch, Orioles Park at Camden Yards, Baltimore, Maryland

Cardinal Fans at Camden Yards, Baltimore, Maryland

Orioles fans at Camden Yards, Baltimore, Maryland

Beverly brings “Francisco The Flying Squirrel” to nearly every Flying Squirrels ballgame. (It “stands” during the national anthem and the 7th inning stretch.) The Diamond, Richmond, Virginia

___________

Here’s more …

Fan-Tastic, Part 1 ~ Our grandparents were bad (and dangerous) baseball fans.

Fan-Tastic, Part 2 ~ Today’s rules of proper fan behavior. Bring your miniature horse to a game? Okay. How about a grapefruit? Not okay.

Fan Photos: Davenport Field, Charlottesville, Virginia. Oriole Park at Camden Yards, Baltimore, Maryland. The Diamond, Richmond, Virginia. 2014

Fan-Tastic, Part 2

Posted on August 3, 2014 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

When 30,000 baseball fans get together, one or two will turn out to be jerks.

Not you and me, of course. But, you know, other guys.

I recently wrote about how we are much better behaved today than our grandparents and great-grandparents were. Click here.

A hundred years ago, the unwritten rules for baseball fans were essentially: “Don’t kill anyone. But, if you do – and we know these things happen – please keep bloodshed to a minimum. Also, if you have the Spanish flu, tuberculosis, or the plague, please stay home.”

The only written rule was this:

That rule’s gone.

But, there are plenty of other rules today.

Good rules. (“We don’t care what your great-grandparents brought to the games, leave your guns and knives at home.”)

Weird rules. (No full bodysuits in Cincinnati.)

bodysuit

(Not so fast there, Reds fan.)

And, dictatorial ones. (For a game that segregated fans for years with “Coloreds Only” signs, they really shouldn’t be so self-righteous when it comes to what WE can put on OUR signs.)

These things are banned in pretty much every major league ballpark:

Thermoses, things in glass, hard-sided coolers, noisemakers, fireworks, guns and knives, anything that explodes, anything that could kill you (except, apparently, trans fats and chewing tobacco), anything that could put out someone’s eye.

Also specifically restricted in most ballparks:

Standing or sitting in the aisles, in the portals, or in the tunnels. Sitting in a location other than your ticketed seat.

Running onto the field of play (clothed or unclothed).

Throwing stuff onto the field.

Foul language.

“Disruptive behavior.”

Intoxication.

Inappropriate public displays of affection.

Skateboards (except at San Francisco’s AT&T Park where you may stow your ’board under your seat).

Brooms. (Exceptions are made in some parks if the team is going for a sweep. Oakland’s O.Co Stadium says no full-size brooms, but little “whiskbrooms” are OK. Clearly, a grandmother writes their rules.)

Fishing nets. ~ Chase Field, Phoenix, Coors Field, Denver

Beach balls.

“Culturally insensitive attire.” ~ AT&T Park, San Francisco

“Food that might be thrown as a projectile … (i.e., oranges, apples and other fruits).” ~ Petco Park, San Diego

“Any fruit or vegetable larger than a grapefruit” unless it is sliced. ~ Coors Field, Denver

“Loud or lengthy” cell phone calls. ~ U.S. Cellular Field, Chicago White Sox

Hairspray. ~ Marlins Park, Miami

Inflatable dolls. ~ Petco Park, San Diego.

You stay classy, San Diego.

“Confetti or Glitter” ~ Yankee Stadium, New York

The Pittsburgh Pirates specifically ban footballs from PNC Park. Good for you, Pittsburgh. Footballs should just be banned, period.

The Washington Nationals encourage you to sit still: “Be a team player – Restrict movement in the seating area to breaks in the action.”

The Philadelphia Phillies will let you bring handmade signs, but they provide a lengthy list of guidelines on what your sign may say, its size, what it can be made of, and how you can display it. No “fighting words,” they warn.

“Citizens Bank Park is a baseball ballpark and not a forum for public discussion.”

The Houston Astros insist that your sign must “support” the team or a player and be in “good taste”.

(Trying to come up with a sign supporting the Astros? How about this: “Well, at least you’re not the Rangers.”)

Most places restrict “wrapped gifts.” The Kansas City Royals, recognizing you might be celebrating a birthday at Kaufmann Stadium, earnestly suggest “gift bags” instead.

The Mets allow diaper bags “with children.” I don’t know where to go with this, because I didn’t even know diaper bags could procreate.

St. Louis’ Busch Stadium has a pretty short prohibited list. Leave your big bags and weapons home. That’s about it. Have at it, Cardinals fans!

Oh, except for this:

“Visiting team fans are our guests. Harassment of the visiting team or their fans will not be tolerated and may result in ejection.”

Cardinal harassing is, apparently, a-ok. You may now harass John Lackey with abandon.

The Angels and Dodgers invite you to bring your crappy cameras and iPhones, but no lenses that are longer than 4” (Angels) or 6” (Dodgers), please. The Tampa Rays allow lenses that are 12”. (The better to fully capture the Trop’s Teflon roof.)

The Yankees invite you to bring whatever size lens you like.

Visit the Minnesota Twins’ website and they will offer you security rules for the Metrodome.

They haven’t played there since 2009 and it was permanently deflated earlier this year.

The Mets continue to have tight security at Shea Stadium.

Shea was torn down in 2009.

Most teams explain that the only animals allowed are service animals (except for special “barks in the parks” events).

Miniature horses are specifically welcome at Petco Park in San Diego, as long as they are serving a direct service role. (Slacker horses? Not allowed.)

By DanDee Shots [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

(Yes, service horses wear sneakers!)

A big tail wag to the Chicago White Sox who allow service animals at U.S. Cellular Field and “offer a Pet Check service for other types of animals.”

Stevie hopes this “pet check” includes snacks and a nice brushing.

Then there’s the Toronto Blue Jays. What a way to ruin a post, what with your “We’re a friendly place and we want you to be happy” rules.

They even promise to greet us with a cheery “How’s it goin’?”

(My friend Susie swears that no one in Canada really says “How’s it goin’?” She’s from Canada, she should know.)

They seem almost apologetic to be restricting anything, and when they do, it’s really just to keep you tidy.

Your own food is welcome, “as long as the items are wrapped, bagged or left inside a container to avoid spillage.” See? They just want to keep mustard off your shirt.

But, there is one odd Toronto rule:

“For obvious safety concerns, guests are not permitted to throw any objects around or within the Rogers Centre seating areas (e.g., baseballs, beach balls, shoes, seat cushions, hats, food, drinks, ice, coins, etc).”

Coins? Shoes? Ice? (There’s a lot of ice in Canada.)

This is ironic since Toronto is fast becoming known for having the worst, drunkest, throwingest fans in baseball. (Sorry, Philly.)

Hey, mind the rules, Toronto fans. Don’t throw your beer at Nate McLouth.

And, here’s the one you’ve been waiting for …

Earlier this season, the Texas Rangers “banned” fans from doing the wave.

Yippee!

Fan-Tastic

Posted on July 26, 2014 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

“At the ballpark or even in front of the television, fans are, for the interlude of a few hours, different from whom they are in everyday life. … In the drama that is a baseball game the fan imagines himself not a spectator but a participant, as if the fervor of his rooting will have a bearing on the outcome.” ~ John Thorn, Official Historian of Major League Baseball

Sometime in the 1880s or so, newspapers started to mention baseball “fans” and “cranks” and “rooters.” Before that, who knows what they called the men (and they were mostly men) who would sit and watch the other men (and they were mostly men, too) play baseball.

Ty Cobb unkindly called fans “bugs,” but he didn’t have a good word to say about anyone.

Umpires might argue that today’s fans can be rowdy at times, but all in all, fans are a pretty good bunch.

We’re certainly nowhere near as rowdy as our grandparents and great- and great-great grandparents who went to games and shoved their way onto the outfield, or, if the weather was hot, would bully players out of their dugouts and take over the benches in the shade.

— SDN-006846, Chicago Daily News negatives collection, Chicago History Museum. (1908)

Police hold back the rowdies at Chicago’s South Side Park on April 14, 1908. The White Sox will defeat the Detroit Tigers 15-8. (And, look at that trash!)

Cranks would fight with other fans, the umpires, and the players. They would throw bricks. Today, I pack my scorecard, maybe some peanuts. Back then, fans would pack bricks and guns, along with their sandwiches and moonshine.

Players would climb into the grandstands and beat up heckling fans. Fans would jump onto the field and clobber a player or ump.

Games were forfeited because fans were jerks.

Ahh, the good old days.

I have been known to complain at games if the person next to me is bogarting my cup holder. (Yours is on the right, Bozo.) Back then, I’d have been lucky to get through the game without losing an eye.

I recently asked a policeman at Oriole Park at Camden Yards what the hardest part of his job was and he said catching the underage drinkers who all sit together in the upper deck on student nights. (Yes, fans today are so well-behaved even the bad ones cooperate by sitting together.) Other than that, he said, he got paid really well to walk around for a few hours, maintaining the peace and watching the game.

So sure, a few bad fan eggs. But, without us there would be no baseball. We are the 10th player. We pay the salaries. We are irreplaceable.

That’s why teams have Fan Appreciation Days and lavish gifts on us to lure us to the park – caps and shirts and seat cushions. Bobbleheads that are supposed to look like certain players, but usually don’t. Garden gnomes that are supposed to look like certain players and sometimes actually do.

Sure, it’s cheap crap, but fans will line up for hours – HOURS – to get our swag.

Nick Markakis Bobblehead? Horrible. Did Helen Keller design this? Socks down! Socks down!

Wilson Photo: by CBL 62, via Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 (2011)

Brian Wilson Garden Gnome? Awesome.

Every baseball fan is a great fan. Even if you don’t know a balk from a walk, and can’t name your team’s starting pitchers, you’re still all right in my book.

But, some are just a tiny bit all righter. Here are three of them.

On Friday night, the Baltimore Orioles defeated the Seattle Mariners 2-1 in 10 innings. These fans were at Seattle’s Safeco Field.

1) Happy Homer.

Who cares if your team just gave up a go-ahead run, you just caught the freaking home run ball! Good for you, happy Mariners’ fan. Your team will lose because of that run, but at least you didn’t spill your beer.

(For the record, if you catch a home run ball, keep it. Even if it was hit by the opposition. You may think you’re some hero by throwing it back on the field in disgust, but really, we just think you’re stupid.)

Watch here.

2) One of these fans is not like the others.

This Orioles fan sat in a sea of Mariners on Friday night.

Editor/Husband thinks the guy lost a bet. I think he’s just a very good fan. Sure, he kind of looks uncomfortable and maybe just a little sad. But, at least he didn’t have to worry about being hit on the head with a brick.

Watch here.

3) Rally Kid

First off, there’s that napkin. The rally napkin. If you don’t have a ball cap to twist or turn to spur your team’s late-inning rally, then you get creative. This kid stuck a napkin on his head. Because, hey, why not?

Well, whatever it was, it didn’t work. Mariners second baseman Robinson Cano – the would-be tying run – was called out to end the game after a challenge.

The rally napkin folded like a … a … a napkin.

Ten innings that kid sat through. The tying run is on first and then, suddenly, he is gone. His team has lost. He is not happy. I love him. I could watch him all day. (He comes at the 1:52 minute mark. He’s worth the wait.)

Watch here.

Don’t worry kid, there’s always tomorrow.

_______________

Not done yet. Here’s Fan-Tastic, Part 2 ~ Unruly Fans/Ruly Fans. Click here.

Baseball’s Not A Spectator Sport … Vote for Nick!

Posted on June 30, 2014 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

A friend told me recently she hates baseball.

“I hate all spectator sports, but I especially hate baseball.”

I’m pretty sure she doesn’t read this blog.

I think her baseball-hate thing comes from a long-ago doofus boyfriend who would watch the Mets on television with his father and not include her.

Baseball, as in many things, has its share of doofuses.

But, you shouldn’t hate baseball, just because you dated a dolt. (And, really, if your boyfriend is bringing his dad to your date night, you’ve got relationship problems well beyond baseball.)

The thing that really bothers me, though, is that she called baseball a spectator sport – some boring, passive, sit-around-and-watch sort of thing.

Binge-watching Downton Abbey is a passive spectator sport. Oh, and it will probably kill you.

Baseball is no spectator sport.

Even at our laziest, we always get up and stretch in the 7th inning.

To be a real baseball fan, however, requires a bit more than just a stretch. It takes commitment and, occasionally, Gatorade.

There are those slightly weird, old-fashioned purists who bring their scorecards to games and carefully pencil in every play.

Yeh, it’s mine. So?

(I met a nice old fella at an Orioles game this season who chuckled because I did my scorecard in pencil. He and his wife keep separate cards. In pen. Show offs!)

There are fans who will happily wear whatever in order to break a Guinness World Record in the middle of a game.

Angels Fans in Santa Hats, 2014.

… and in Cowboy Hats, 2012

Snuggies … wigs … wrestling masks.

Wacky Angels fans don’t care. They’ll wear anything!

Always on alert, there are fans catching foul balls and home run balls at every turn, sometimes even while holding a baby.

There are fans who dance …

… and kiss …

… and sing …

Even if you aren’t actually at the game, there is still much doing to be done.

Have you voted for your All Stars, yet?

Because, you only have until this Thursday, July 3, to vote online for the starting line-ups for this year’s game.

You might think this is where I will beg you to vote for all the Baltimore Orioles.

You would be wrong. Even The Baseball Bloggess can’t vote for all of them. Not this year.

But, I can vote for a few, and there’s one in particular that deserves – and needs – your support.

Orioles right fielder Nick Markakis.

His plays in the field are seldom flashy, simply because he positions himself so well, that he rarely has to overcorrect. (It’s often those over-correctors who make the highlight reels with their crazy chin-first swan dives into the ground.)

His uniform stays pretty clean in the field.

He made NO errors in 2013. He played right field in 155 games – all nine innings in 152 of them – and made NO errors. NO errors in his 74 games this season either.

I bet YOU made an error at work last year. Nick Markakis did not.

Trust me, it’s not for lack of work. It’s not like the Orioles crack team of starting pitchers is striking everybody out.

His glove stays plenty busy.

He is stellar in the outfield. But, unheralded, because he goes about his business without grandstanding.

Just one Gold Glove. (2011)

He is steady and reliable as the Orioles leadoff hitter, batting .298 this season. (Geek Alert: .358 OPB/.410 Slugging).

But, no showing off, no fancy home run handshakes, no bat flipping, no jawing at umpires.

And, in nine big league seasons NO All-Star Game appearance.

And, that just stinks.

So, Vote for Nick.

Because he does this …