The Baltimore Orioles were “Sweep … Swept … Swupt” by the Cubs this weekend. They were clobbered. Drubbed. Smooshed. Crushed. Laid to waste.
This morning, the O’s are nine games back in the AL East and tied for last (Good morning, last-mate Blue Jays!). They are seven games under .500.
The Orioles’ starting rotation’s ERA is 6.02 which is nearly the worst in baseball (thank you, Reds starters, whose 6.04 ERA has kept the O’s pitchers out of last place. At least for now).
How will I know it’s over? I’ll know it’s over when the beat writers headline their morning wrap-up “Available Orioles” … when fans hashtag their O’s tweets with #DumpsterFire and #Sell … and when in-the-knowsters like Ken Rosenthal name the teams that, like hungry dogs, are circling the Orioles looking for players.
I wrote a poem for you.
Welcome To The Club
The A’s sold some relievers
As they take their team apart
The Chi Sox Sale’d Quintana
The O’s have lost their heart.
The Blue Jays and the Phillies
The Reds and Giants, too
The season’s just half over
But, it’s off-season now for you.
For those teams who can’t win series
It’s the setting of the sun
Just picking out the prospects
Traded for their number ones.
Baseball in October
That day-dreaming now is done
For all those fans whose teams have slid
Baseball has lost its fun.
The game is not the story
Swept at home, or in a rout
The story’s now of trading
The men who got shut-out.
Have fun Astros and Dodgers
Brewers, Red Sox, and the Nats
While you’re out crushing baseballs
I’ll take pictures of my cats.
Cuz the rest of us are Mudville
“We’ve struck out” is what we sing
So, let’s close our eyes at bedtime
And dream of better things in spring.