The Orioles Win And A Passel Of Opossums Are Born

Nine.

The Baltimore Orioles have won nine games this season, including their game last night.

Finally!

This gives them, still, the worst record in baseball. They are 17 games back of the Yankees in the AL East. (The Yankees have lost 10 games this season; the Orioles have won nine.)

Thanks to a walk, an Orioles error, and a double steal, the Royals had the tying run in scoring position in the 9th last night.

But, don’t rain on my parade today, Mr. Pickles, because a win is a win. They got the last out.

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The Orioles, Mayflies, And Milk

Congratulations, Baltimore Orioles! You lost another game last night. But, if you’re going to lose, at least you did it in historic fashion.

Orioles starting pitcher Dylan Bundy couldn’t record a single out in the first and so was pulled, but not before giving up four home runs to the Kansas City Royals. Apparently, no starting pitcher has given up four home runs before recording an out.

Embed from Getty Images

 

If you’re going to be bad, be historically bad.

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The Orioles, Opossums, And Poetry

The Baltimores are in last place.

But, there’s a bright side too, today.

Last night it didn’t get far worse,

Because they didn’t play.

Despite my nagging and feeble poetry, the Orioles season has not turned around.

I wrote to them on Sunday which did no good, because they lost on Sunday, too.

Thank you Cincinnati Reds for losing last night — you have, at least for the moment, nudged just under the O’s to have the worst record in baseball.

Off days are becoming a solace. At least I won’t be disappointed.

You know that old saying, “You can’t lose if you don’t play.”

Well, it goes something like that.

One hundred years ago today, May 8, 1918, the Boston Braves were having a bad start, too. They began the season 5-13, a .278 win percentage.

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The 1896 Orioles Opossum

 “The charm of the work of the Baltimores is that every man is alive and thoroughly in earnest, playing ball for all he is worth all the time. It is a very hard club to beat, and it is the verdict that there is little wonder this club won the pennant last season.” ~ The Boston Herald, Spring 1896

Dear Baltimore Orioles,

Me, again.

I guess I don’t have to tell you why I’m writing.

At 8-25, you’re tied with the Reds for the worst record in baseball.

Last night.

You’re worse than the terrible everyone predicted you’d be.

You’re 16 games back of the AL East leading Red Sox, which is pretty nuts, because you’ve only played 33 games.

Things are terrible bad in Birdland. Horriblaciously, rottenificously, awfulmoungously bad.

So bad I have to make up words to describe the badiciousness.

This is “unbelievably bad” territory.

You blow first innings, you blow ninth innings. Those innings in-between? You blow them, too.

And, extra innings too … because …

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“Oh, This Is Not Good.”

First, some good news.

The Baltimore Orioles won last night, defeating the Cleveland Indians 3-1.

There you go.

I don’t have any more good news, so if you want to stop reading now, I totally understand.

O’s left-fielder Trey Mancini slid knee-first into a brick wall in the eighth. You don’t need to be a stat-wonky baseball fan to understand the bad-newsedness that comes when bone hits brick.

You can watch it – over and over, from multiple angles, and in slow motion – here.  As Jim Palmer says, “Oh, this is not good.”

That Orioles win last night, the first in more than a week, brings the O’s record to 6-14.

The Orioles are in last place in the AL East, 11-1/2 games back of another team whose name escapes me at the moment … um …

… I dunno.

Whatever. Another team. Good for them.

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Free Baseball ~ Opening Day Edition

Sometimes I write for you. Sometimes I read and listen and watch stuff for you, so you don’t have to. (Isn’t that nice of me?)

Here are a few things I found. Think of them as Free Baseball* from The Baseball Bloggess – like the gift of extra innings that you didn’t expect when you came to the game.

After A Decade In Pro Ball, A Former Pitcher Goes Without Health Insurance

Public Radio International’s awesome Only A Game this week profiled Paul Wilmet, a pitcher who spent nearly a decade in pro ball, including playing three big league games for the Rangers in 1989. Today, he’s nearly blind but, with no pension, long-term health insurance, or benefits from his long baseball career, he’s been unable to get the surgery that could help him see again.

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Baseball Is Real & We’re All Number One

If the last five months were the “Off Season” … is today the “On Season”?

It’s The On Season, Baseball Fans!

To be honest, I kinda like the off season. Everybody needs a reset and I like the anticipation of a brand new season … brand new possibilities.

I don’t mind waiting.

Orioles waiting for the game to resume, August 2017 © The Baseball Bloggess

But, I’m glad we don’t have to wait anymore.

(Dear Beloved Baltimore Orioles, My amazing baseball experts don’t think you’re good enough to win the World Series. Nobody thinks you’ll do much of anything this year. But, I do. I believe in you. Please, don’t let me down.)

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Mark. My Words.

Dear Baltimore Orioles,

Me, again.

With just 11 days ’til baseball season starts — the earliest Opening Day ever — I thought I’d drop a note and say “hi.”

Hi.

I see that lots has been going on in Birdland.

You’ve set up a new program to let kids attend Orioles games for free through the 2018 season. You’re expanding play areas at the park and creating new menu options especially for kids. Awesome!

Since I last wrote, you’ve picked up a couple of starting pitchers.

Good for you.

Welcome back, Chris Tillman and your 7.34 ERA.

You were a broken Bird most of last season which, we’re assured, is the reason for the stinky ERA. I hope you’re feeling better because I hate when Editor/Husband yells when starters get shelled in the third inning. (Or, second. Or, first.)

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Dear Baltimore Orioles,

Dear Beloved Baltimore Orioles,

Hi! How are you? Have you had a nice relaxing, restful, lazy, nap-filled off-season?

Of course you have.

Yes, you certainly have done a lot of do-nothingness. In fact, I’m not sure there’s another team that has done less than you have these past few months.

(Correction: The Cleveland Spiders have done less. But, then the Spiders disappeared in 1888.)

Sure, we all need our rest.

But, enough napping. It’s time to wipe that sleepy drool off your chin. Enough lollygagging.

Pitchers and catchers report on February 13. That’s not a lot of time.

And, guess what?

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New Year’s Rulin’s

First of all, New Year’s Resolutions are stupid.

Because if you waited an entire year to decide you need to make some major life change, because, while unpleasant, you know it will be good for you, then why did you wait until today to start it?

I’ll tell you why. Because you don’t want to do it. That’s why. And, eventually, we don’t do the things we don’t want to do.

So, resolutions stink when you make them – because they are things you don’t want to do. And, they stink even more when you fail at them – because now you’re a failure.

Resolutions just stink.

But, there are always exceptions. Woody Guthrie wrote these – his “New Year’s Rulin’s” for 1942.

I can’t tell you if he kept them, but I’m hopeful he at least took the occasional bath and sent money to his kids.

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