Manny Got A Job.

Posted on February 20, 2019 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

I’m not sure why I care so much about Manny Machado.

Manny Machado, you may have heard, is expected to sign a $300-million, 10-year contract with the San Diego Padres.

(The San Diego Padres – the team you always forget when you’re trying to name all 30.)

Not Manny.

This is the biggest free agent contract in sports history.

Until, I guess, Bryce Harper signs – with, maybe, the Phillies – later this week.

Not Bryce.

(The Philadelphia Phillies – the team with the name that’s not even trying. All teams should do that. The Washington Washies. The New York Yorkies – woof! The San Diego Sandies. The Baltimore Balties. Whatever.)

Having boatloads of quality free agents still unsigned when spring training is well underway is both weird and disconcerting. Continue reading →

“Baltimore Base-Ball Club’s Suits Have A Washday”

Posted on February 2, 2019 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

There was a time – long before our time – when a housewife would set aside her entire Monday for doing the laundry.

I do a lot of laundry.

I have a washing machine that will agitate itself into a frenzy. I have eco-friendly laundry detergent and a dryer that runs extremely hot. With the exception of folding, I do very little.

It takes awhile, but it doesn’t take all day.

I still hate it.

But, I really would have hated it in 1895 when hours upon hours were spent boiling water over a fire and then scrubbing and rubbing and twisting out stains with caustic soaps and lye and turpentine until your hands turned red and peeled and bled.

Sure, the clothes wringer made washing day a little less back-breaking, but, as you can see, its biggest benefit was giving the wife time to get dinner on the table in time.

Doing the laundry in 1895 has nothing to do with baseball.

Until I found this …

The Baltimore Sun, 2/7/1895

“This wash-day scene is a sign of spring.” ~ The Baltimore Sun

Fourteen black Orioles uniforms were hanging to dry at the von der Horsts’ on a February day in 1895. Continue reading →

In Praise Of “Peculiarly Hypnotic Tedium”

Posted on January 20, 2019 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

Good news, baseball fans!

All your griping about long and slow baseball games has paid off.

Games are shorter!

Last year the length of the average baseball game dropped – dropped! – to 3 hours and 4 minutes. That’s a savings of 4 minutes per game over 2017.

I hate math, but check out this wizardry …

With a 162-game season, there were 2,430 regular season games scheduled in 2018. At 4 minutes saved per game, that comes out to 9,720 free minutes or – and this is going to blow your mind – 162 hours saved!

Pulitizer-winning novelist Philip Roth once called baseball’s pace “peculiarly hypnotic tedium” and, just to be clear, he meant that in a good way.

I’m sure you put your 4-minute-per-game savings to good use last season.

Maybe you used your free minutes to watch Bongo Cat play Africa …

The average American shower takes 8 minutes – so you could have had half a shower, which is time enough to soap, but maybe not enough to rinse.

Fun Fact: The 3 hour, 4 minute average baseball game is almost identical to the length of an average NFL football game, but without all the brain-damaging concussions.

(It’s odd that some people who complain about baseball games being too long and slow are the same ones who complain that the off-season – without baseball – is also too long and slow. I watched the Orioles lose 115 games last season. What’s your hurry?) Continue reading →

Babe Ruth Gave Up Reading, But I Didn’t

Posted on January 5, 2019 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

“[R]eading isn’t good for a ball player’s eyes and if my eyes went bad, even a little bit, I couldn’t hit home runs. So I gave up reading.” – Babe Ruth in the St. Louis Star

I never really trusted this old quote of Babe Ruth’s that floats around the internet. But, I snooped around and found it there in an old St. Louis Star.

“Bad Boy No Longer”

In a wide-ranging interview, given during a Yankees batting practice in the spring of 1929, Ruth also clears up the then-and-still prevalent myth that he was an orphan, promises that he no longer “plays the ponies,” notes that the President he admires most is Harding (along with Wilson), but, adds, “Al Smith is my favorite,” and tells his manager Miller Huggins to “go to hell.”

(Harding?)

It’s an interesting interview, but it requires reading, something Ruth was not fond of, but I think that, since you’re here and all, you might be.

I love reading. Continue reading →

Season’s Greetings, Nationals Fans! (Finally.)

Posted on December 28, 2018 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

Dear Washington Nationals Fans,

So, look, I know you may have given up on your Nationals wishing you a Happy Holidays this year, what with their website linking – still … three days after Christmas – to the New York Mets holiday greeting.

oops.

Maybe I was a bit harsh when I kinda-sorta suggested in a recent post that a screw-up like that seemed like a perfect wrap-up of the 2018 Nationals … and so very, very Washington, DC.

But, that was uncalled for. And, I’m sorry if I made you sad.

I’m sure it was just a simple mistake. Let’s blame the interns.

But, I couldn’t stop thinking about you on the holidays – the only fans in baseball that weren’t greeted and thanked for being fans. Even the 115-loss Baltimore Orioles came through to wish me a happy holidays.

(Happy Holidays, Orioles fans. At least we didn’t lose 116!)

Surely, the Nationals couldn’t be that cold. Surely, they didn’t forget you.

They didn’t! Continue reading →

Season’s Greetings From [Insert Team Name Here]: 2018 Edition

Posted on December 24, 2018 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

[2019 UPDATE: Teams should be updating these holiday cards soon. Soon-ish. Maybe your team is busy signing free agents and doing big trades. These things take time … and maybe they haven’t gotten around to updating their holiday card yet. Which is to say … my 2019 update will be up sometime around Christmas … and in the meantime, the 2018 links below probably work … they might even be updated already!]

Many of you will be surrounded this week by family and friends, celebrating the holidays.

I’ve got Editor/Husband here and three cats. The sun is out. It’s pretty low key with the Baseball Bloggess.

I’ve got time on my hands. (And, I haven’t had my breakfast.)

So, as my gift to you, I have binge-watched all 30 Season’s Greeting videos from all 30 major league baseball teams.

I watched them all. For you. So you don’t have to.

(And, I’ve got links to every single one.)

Enjoy!

Spoiler Alert: The Dodgers may have lost the World Series, but they definitely won the Holidays. Continue reading →

My Favorite Sports-Writing Words Of 2018

Posted on December 23, 2018 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

The world is on fire.

I mean that figuratively, of course. Or, maybe I don’t. I’m not even sure any more.

I’m just saying there’s just a lot of suck out there.

If only the Baltimore Orioles’ 115-loss season was the worst thing that happened this year. If only.

Can you find the worst team in baseball?

Maybe that’s why sports – and excellent sports writing – is such a joy and refuge when times are tough and the world seems unbearably ugly and mean, because it actually is unbearably ugly and mean.

Sure, you could just binge on cooking shows until spring training. That’s not a bad plan.

But, sometimes it feels good to read something sporty. A little balm for the soul. A little de-suck-ification of life.

When your favorite team wins just a lousy 47 games, poring over box scores doesn’t take much time.

So, here are some of my favorite sports-writing words of 2018. Continue reading →

(You know who you are.)

Posted on December 9, 2018 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

A couple weeks ago, I reached out to let you know about last Saturday’s Open House at my Yoga Studio benefiting the Wildlife Center of Virginia.

I told you about the more than 3,000 animals they cared for this year. Including Cardinals. Blue Jays. Orioles. Cubs. (No Rays. Sorry, Tampa.)

I told you about last month’s destructive ice storm that did massive damage to the animal habitats, pens, and homes at the Center.

Alex the Screech Owl and the Center’s Outreach Director Amanda Nicholson came to the Open House. But, I knew that, because of place and distance, many of you couldn’t.

But, I asked you to donate to help this good cause anyway.

And, you did!

You really did! My heart nearly burst with happiness when I learned of your generous and wonderful gifts.

Thank you.

But, for those who couldn’t attend, I promised more than just a thank you.

And, I’m keeping my promise. Continue reading →

Richmond’s Baseball Kid – “Granny” Hamner

Posted on November 17, 2018 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

Are you old?

Do you live with, work with, know young people?

Are they pretty sure they know more than you do?

Try this …

When you don’t want to do something, pretend like you’re too old to know how to do it. Look befuddled. “Gosh, this computering is hard. I just don’t get it.”

Young people love to know more than you.

“Here,” the young person will say impatiently, “Give it to me.”

Do not fight them on this. GIVE IT TO THEM.

The young person will then take over and do your work for you.

They will think you are stupid. But, you are very smart. Sit back and relax and let the youngster do your work.

Crazy kids.

Which brings me to the ballplayer kid they called Granny.

Granny Hamner was born Granville Wilbur Hamner in April 1927 in Richmond, Virginia – one of 35 major league players born there. Continue reading →

Let’s Wrap This Up. (Plus, My Baseball Experts Were Awesome.)

Posted on October 29, 2018 by Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess

I’ll be brief. (Brief-ish.)

Baseball Is Shorter Than You Think.

For those who believe that baseball games are too long, I have a gift for you … the postseason was shorter than it could have been.

Each World Series team takes a percentage of the profits from the games they play, which means that following this five-but-coulda-been-seven game Series, the Red Sox and Dodgers are each a little poorer this morning than they could have been had only the Dodgers been a little better and the Red Sox a little weaker.

And, while Game 3 took 18 innings, seven hours and 20 minutes, and was the longest game in World Series history, baseball still ended three days early. (I guess some of you “it’s too long” whiners are happy about that.)

Hooray For “Little Yankee.”

“You people have a little pet name for everybody.”

Whether he played for the Orioles (in stints over five seasons), the Rays, the Blue Jays, or the Red Sox, we always call Steve Pearce “Little Yankee.”